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reflections on Quantum Healing

December 7, 2009

Learning to communicate what I have experienced and what I am learning.

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I’ve never had cancer and yet to be diagnosed with a terminal or acute illness.  At age 30, that is fairly normal and a huge blessing.  What I began experiencing at the young age of 19 was chronic depression.  It’s possible the onset of this disease was sooner but it was at 19 years old when I became conscious of the gravity of this condition.  For the next 8 years I would struggle with understanding my symptoms and finding an appropriate way of healing.  This journey is the basis of my understanding of the book Quantum Healing. 

I’m blown away in learning about how the molecules of our brain function, and particularly how they are ever changing and play a role in healing (or possibly enhancing) our experience of disease.  My yoga practice has taught me about creating light and moving energy into the space it’s needed.  I am curious about Chopra’s characterization of the use of meditation and channeling healing energy to see the results of spontaneous healing.  Quantum Healing helps me understand why traditional Western teachings on science, the human body and even religion have never engaged me.  I am delighted in new interests and understandings.  For the very first time I feel connected to miracles and stories of Jesus Christ as I consider energy as a method of healing beyond what can be proven by the scientific method.

I believe the symptoms of depression I experienced were simply a manifestation of my enormously imbalanced energies.  I was all thought, seeking to delete the sounds of my emotion and my feelings based on what I experienced in the household where I grew up. Not only this, most of those thoughts were judging, ego driven responses.  Western physicians called my experiences a chemical imbalance in my brain.  My doctors compared the diagnosis of depression as being similar to receiving a diagnosis of Strep Throat. When I resisted medication for depression I was asked whether I would accept an antibiotic if that were the case instead. With this logical box, I accepted a pharmaceutical antidepressant as my first course of treatment.  I found some relief of the symptoms, mainly a muting of the negative attitudes and experiences I had that were preventing me from carrying on with a “normal” life.  I also experienced a number of side effects from the drugs.  There was one weekend the side effects of an improper medication cocktail seeking to address my symptoms of depression and competing insomnia deeply terrified me.  I was touched by Chopra’s discussion of the use of pharmaceutical medications for one thing and the use of more drugs to control side effects and other resulting dis-ease.  My doctors were constantly making adjustments, some things worse than others, and the bottom line was always that I never felt treated.  Instead I felt numbed.  Eventually I became disenchanted by the magic medication.  Looking back, I think it’s interesting that diet, exercise and spirituality were not considered by any of my treating physicians. 

Eventually I would seek out other methods of healing this disease.  But first I would be blessed with an enormous heart opening experience, which came in the form of heart break and deep loss.  In this experience I wanted to actually heal.  I feared being placed on higher doses of medication to keep my feelings and emotions numbed in order to face the grieving process and maintain daily function.  I feared I would fall into old behavioral patterns of mismanagement of the symptoms which had never been healed.  It was this experience that helped me hear the cries of my spirit for the first time.  This is when I would learn about my chakras, to listen, to pay attention to what was going on beyond my thoughts, to move energy, to enable the creation of balance and healing.  Consequently, this is also when I discovered yoga and radically changed my diet.  I became a student of the mindbody interrelations, changing my course of intelligence-only culture, an experience that was creating so much disconnection and imbalance I needed a pharmaceutical to cope.  I now recognize my symptoms of disease differently and understand how to apply mindbody techniques to create healing.   I am fascinated to learn that these techniques can be furthered to manage much more severe disease and generate healing as Chopra has achieved.  I am excited by this knowledge.  It sings in my spirit. 

I had no idea that our composition, down to the cellular level is in fact constantly changing.  My mind has again been opened so broadly to possibility and questions.  I cannot wait to learn more in HeartMath Solution and The Field.  Quantum physics, bring it on!

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