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personals

July 8, 2009

a dear friend mentioned to me that, not taking anything away from the greatness of my veg goodness posts, she misses some of my old personal-ly posts.  i liked her feedback.  i like that she wanted more of the deeper stuff around here.  it made me feel special (jeez, S).  her timing was impeccable, because tonight i have some dark personal stuff to blog out…

it’s times like tonight i wish it didn’t break my heart too much to sit through an episode of Intervention.  you see, i need to write an intervention letter to someone who’s unwilling to accept help for his troubles.  this has destroyed his life, and the next stop could soon be the ditch.

the part that blasts me is his unwillingness to talk to me about anything beyond the damn weather.  it’s hot, dude, i have nothing to say in this discussion.  aside from being bored to death by this topic time after time, for some reason, even when it always happens this way, i am surprised.  and pissed. and if i hear one more person say “rock bottom” they are at risk* for the ass kicking i keep hearing this Intervention Person needs.

this not funny condition destroying this person is not drugs.  it’s largely in part due to debilitating mental disease.  he has rejected all acts of help.  he’s sabotaged every opportunity he’s been given.  he’s tearing the saintly family apart who has given him shelter.  he’s criticized their children, religion, integrity, business decisions, cooking(!), living habits, and any other choice a person makes in the course of daily life.

oooh, la la la.  according to him, it’s all hunky fucking dory.  tonight rather than talk to me about the real stuff going on in his life,  he evades my questions.  he lies.  he’s mean.  he’s a victim.  and yet the people he constantly degrades and has degraded for more than 30 years are still willing to keep trying to help him.

he has admitted to knowing he has serious mental illness.  he doesn’t want to take a pill.  “he can only do what he can only do.”  in case you’re wondering Mr. La-La-La, i love you and what you’re choosing to do is nothing but antagonize and be miserable without the pill i’ve taken you to get, you know you need, and refuse to take.  you aren’t “doing what you can do” b/c YOU CAN TAKE THE PILL and OPTIONS OPEN UP.

he is the only person with the ability to choose to take that pill.  he’s not willing.  unwilling is not the same as unable, La La La.

wow.

sad.

_____________________________________________

*ok, fine, i could never hit someone but in my head it’s crazy bad kung fu kickass.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. fortheloveofguava permalink
    July 15, 2009 2:27 pm

    Ugh… it’s true only they can do it… but they are lucky they have you around to try and get them in gear… nothing really to say but… if you can… keep doin’ lady

  2. sarahmae permalink
    July 25, 2009 11:38 am

    Sure miss you, Hippie… hope you’re good 🙂

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