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January 1, 2009

Vegan, part Deux.  I can’t decide whether it’s the new cookbook I’m obsessing over, the fact that I have said goodbye to those icky 25 extra pounds, or the week and a half long spell of Diarrhea I’ve suffered here lately, which is only slightly excusable when I’m in some romantic beautiful foreign country… looking…  Nope, I’m definitely Here.  Fair enough.  I am ready to do even better with my foods this year.  Not knocking my progress in any way, just feeling like I want to do more.  With the holiday season, I let the dairy-free part of the vegan diet go and my Derriere is paying for it.  The dairy hasn’t really satisfied me but it’s been everywhere, seemed appealling and was easy, peasy.  But not worth it to my Swollen  Colon.  More particularly, I do not want a repeat episode of the Rhroids and by my measures I am dangerously close here.  That, my dear, is heinous on the anus…  Moving on from the butt stuff – Thinking Fiber, Meaty Delicious Fiber, Grains, Beans (but not before I return to solids), and Vitamin E.  I am stoked to go back to my farmer’s market.  While I’m in the Hood, I’m going to stop by the herberia and bulk up on some Spices.  I’ll probably stop by the bookstore too while I’m out.   Pretty sure I need more information.  Key.  And frankly, I must obtain a copy of Vegan with a Vengeance.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  I’ll stop spending money tomorrow, haha.  Stop, spending, think Portland.  Speaking of which, there’s another reason, I should fine tune my veg practice for Portland.  You heard me right, Smarty, next time have sushi, so I probably also mean tomorrow here, I’m feeling out the Veg Sushi Experience.  I have a feeling it’s going to rock.   Today I’m going to cook up a fabulous butternut squash soup.  Yep, that’s also going to rock… come on over, friends!    I’m crafting today.  Busy busy.  Good thing I have many days to accomplish all of this.  I may not do the shopping parts until tomorrow… pretty sure I have everything here to keep me happy today. 

Speaking of happy, despite the mild case of heartbreak E dished out yesterday, I had a very happy New Year’s Eve.  Happy New Year, bloggies!!!  Wining, dining, and relishing in the evening with a Bestie.  What’s not to love?  Well, what’s not to love is a man who has acted like E.  Today I do not believe I can rely on him to give when it’s important to me.  That’s not going to work out so much but thanks.  I’ve a giver, plan to continue to give unconditionally to each and every person I love, and won’t be changing that for anyone.  So when I find my relationship is not going to give back in the few circumstances when it really matters most, it would seem like it’s the relationship I should give away.  I have tried with this relationship.  I don’t think this would be an early Run.  I find myself wondering – Is it true that opposites are really the same?  What I mean is, if one (or more than one) man I’ve dated treated our relationship as if it’s my world and he’s just happy to be allowed to live in it by my side, and the other treated the relationship as if it’s his world and his world alone, I should be grateful to be allowed into it, so long as I do not have an opinion about what we should do  in it together… and each of said Man lets me down when it actually mattered most to me (in the realm of reasonable requests)… aren’t both of these opposite kinds of men the same in that the relationships aren’t about me at all, rather they are about the man’s issues and how he expresses them in a relationship with any given Placebo Woman?  Where is the balance?  That I do not know.  But it resonates to me that these seemingly opposite Men are actually the same.  These opposites are not worthy of Divine 09.  Sorry, guys. 

As part of giving, I think I have finally learned the art of Accompany and Support.  AP has been a true test of this, and a good reminder to me that it’s not my job (or my right) to be the voice of reason.  It’s not my problem.  What it is is a person I love’s business.  A person who I can give support to in a myriad of ways that are helpful.  Business I can lend information to but not make decisions about.  I generally always have an opinion, which is merely that, my opinion, and often an irrelevant, not helpful, single minded, biased opinion.  I can speak in terms of reality and build up my loved one, that’s helpful.  And truly, how good does an “I told you so” really feel?  My family and friends showed the Beauty of Accompany and Support to me as I chose to put my faith in D to later learn the gravity of this mistake, and all throughout 08.  It is something I will always remember and appreciate, and something I want to pay forward.  This little card is definitely part of 09 and will continue into the infinity of me.

One Comment leave one →
  1. sarahmae permalink
    January 1, 2009 9:25 pm

    You eat whatever kind of sushi you want, my dear Hippie! So long as we’re still going to Z eat whatever you want 😀 MUAH!

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