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i like it, even if i didn’t want it

December 16, 2008

i may not get PDX now, but i do get:

  • to sit on my (new gorgeous) couch alone (in my new gorgeous house) and laugh hysterically at (my new gorgeous) boyfriend, E*.  he amuses me.  i like.
  • to bake and consume this delicious Vegan Banana Bread.  OMG, it’s divine.  i love my fabulous kitchen.  it’s decked out to the 9s.  i have been cooking like mad.  it’s great.  E will soon be madly in love (although he might already be…), poor thing doesn’t stand a chance.
  • to go back to my favorite yoga studio.  yea!  it finally reopened, 3 months after it’s target date.  i went back to my first class last night.  the new studio is closer to my house.  the rooms are larger and beautiful.   i can’t get the popping sound my shoulder made during class last night out of my head.  thankfully, my shoulder wasn’t injured.  it could take a while to get used to its new sound mechanism.  i could be a one woman band… ooh!  now, there’s an idea for 2009.
  • to assert change into certain relationships where i was looking forward to passively aggressively setting some boundaries with physical mileage.  since learning of my stay, i have begun to do this here.  it’s possible.
  • to drive around in my new Lexus, listening to hip hop while i shake it.  i don’t know how Lexi did it but she has me hooked on hip hop.  it’s nonstop in that car.  i really didn’t want a new car but she’s fun.
  • to appreciate my job for what it’s worth.  i have spent an enormous amount of time complaining about my job.  i felt super resentful at the idea of staying in this job when i realized i wasn’t leaving.  BUT these days i’m feeling like it’s not really all that bad.  i like my coworkers, who are now people i consider my friends.  the downward spiraling economy presents me with a new set of challenges with ordinary work i have been doing.  i know and generally like my clients.  either communication is reorganizing with me and the Puff or i just care less about how bad it is, either way i am detached.  the terms of one of our new companies crossed my desk the other day and would you believe it’s a “Renewable” company!?!  happy, joy!  considering almost all of my goals are centered around life outside the workplace, i will try hard to keep that in perspective.  it’s ok to sit here a while, bored some days, and take advantage of the opportunity and stability.
  • to get involved here as i had planned to do there.  while i find the attitude of this place awfully oppressive, my county did have voting results of a democratic majority in the last election.   not all of those votes were cast by leeches on society.  a lot of them were cast by educated, socially conscious, forward thinking individuals, who are exactly the kind of persons i was planning to seek out and commune with once i hit PDX.  there is no reason not to commune with said like minds here…  i have a beautiful community of friends here, there’s no reason not to add more beautiful folks them.  i just should spread my branches a little.  i can do that.  the reason i gave a few weeks ago as to why i don’t was simply that i didn’t feel inspired to reach out to the community here.  i knew it was a bullshit answer when i said it.   bullshit answer that was my truth, but bullshit nonetheless.  i’ve been invited to join several groups but haven’t b/c i was uninspired to do so.   since stewing on this idea a couple of weeks, i’m starting to feel differently about that and actually looking forward to making some new connections.  i would also bet there are some ideas in my yoga circles for donating my time in the nonprofit arena.  
  • to enjoy the marathon.  i am not racing to any finish line.  with every new year brings a reason to make new commitments to bettering my world.  2008 brought me a delightful boost in the wellness department.  2008 was great, my girls had it right last new year’s eve.  2009 sounds like a time for focusing on adding to my community.  i’m thinking 2009 will be absolutely divine… that’s also got a nice ring.

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* i can’t get comfortable with any of the nicknames i have previously used for E – the Lover, etc.  until i change my mind again, i’m sticking w/ E.

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