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makeover weekend

June 23, 2008

*sigh* i am coming off of a fabulous makeover weekend. 

this weekend i spent all of the money i had saved for the family vacation i am missing* this week to treat myself.  historically, i haven’t enjoyed shopping for a number of reasons.  but this weekend was totally different.  having JJ with me helped me choose not to be annoyed by the crowds.  having now lost 19** pounds, my awkward fit looks good in more styles of clothes.  this time  i was left with the choice of which nicely fitting clothes i loved the most rather than going with whatever works reasonably well.  what a beautiful change.  and even more beautiful, this trip i was spent cold hard budgeted cash. 

i bought 100 degree weather-friendly and  work-friendly outfits.  i bought several new play tops.  i bought belts.  i bought shoes.  i bought a bag.  i got my hair done.  physically, i feel transformed. 

emotionally, i also took some makeover steps.  i moved back home.  essentially, i have lived exclusively at JJ’s house for the past 2 months.  it’s been very comfortable to live there.  he’s been such a helper in nursing me back to health.  i’ve enjoyed waking up next to him every morning and coming home to him each evening.  i can’t express enough how grateful i am that he opened up his home to me.  our relationship has certainly grown stronger and more intimate during this period.  at the same time, though, i think it’s important that we continue to date rather than be in a psuedo-married situation so early into our relationship.  the fact is that we haven’t made the decision to move-in together.  big decision.  very soon. 

JJ and i were both sad as i moved everything back home.  it’s amazing how much stuff i had at his house.  it felt a little bit like a break up, going through the motions of packing up, but it’s not a break up at all.  JJ helped me load everything up.  and after moving everything home, we had a nice lunch with mom. 

mom stuck around all afternoon and helped me with my spring cleaning***.  another step in the emotional makeover.  i am getting rid of the clothes that don’t fit anymore, and i’m going to have the big clothes i want to keep tailored.  i rearranged my closet.  organized my dresser.  did all my laundry. 

and finally, mom brought sampson home.  MAJOR on the emotional makeover scale.  he’s been a rock in the emotional roller coaster that life has taken me on over the past 5 years.  he’s significant to my happiness.  i have certainly felt his absence.  he was nervous and confused about what was going on when mom brought him back home.  but we reconnected last night and he seemed back to his happy go lucky self by this morning. 

by the end of the day, my body was exhausted from the physical work it had done.  emotionally, i felt a bit drained too.  i have gotten so used to spending my time with JJ, i had a period of loneliness at home by myself.  it felt good to acknowledge that loneliness and acknowledge how much i enjoy the time i spend with JJ.  i watched shitty reality television.  i ordered in.  i organized my thoughts.  i wrote!!!  and by 8 pm, my creativity had returned with inspiration to move forward on a minor (and cheap) home improvement project which will make my home more of a sanctuary. 

all of this has given me a gleem of normalcy again… which is exactly the makeover i needed this weekend.

*sadly, i will miss the reunion vacation of my extended family.  since i’ve missed a month of work over the past two months, i can’t reasonably expect more time off for a while.  i am saddened that i will miss seeing everyone this year.  i’ve been looking forward to this trip since the last one ended 3 years ago.  at the same time, i am thankful to have my good health back, and i have been blessed to have shared special celebrations with some of these fantastic family members twice in the past 6 months. 

**yep, i’m down another 1/2 pound!  1 pound away from the big 2-0.  stoked.

***i am the opposite of a horder.  i love to purge old things.  it gives me great pleasure to keep my “things” to a minimum. 

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One Comment leave one →
  1. reinadecorazon permalink
    June 23, 2008 1:34 pm

    hey sweets. glad that your make-over did you well…sounds refreshing. i’m so going to miss you this week, but i totally understand why you can’t be there with us. m & i will throw back a drink in celebration of you….

    hope the rest of the recovery goes well, and the home inprovement project works out for you.

    loves!!!!!

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