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loss of tranquility

April 17, 2008

it’s time to have the shoulder surgery i’ve been avoiding for the last 4 years.  ugh.  my right arm dislocates from my shoulder on a hair trigger (like just reaching across for something or turning off the alarm).  this happens almost on a monthly basis.  it usually hurts a lot.  when it came out of socket again this past weekend, i was finally convinced that my attempts at healing this naturally aren’t going to be sufficient over the long run.  i’m in an intolerable amount of pain right now.  there’s no longer any question in my mind that i need to have this procedure but i’m bummed out… 

hearing the news that the recovery time is approximately 6 months completely shattered my world.  my first thoughts were – no yoga for how long?  i need my shoulder for downward dog… the very foundation of a yoga class.  YOGA IS MY SALVATION.  you can’t take it away!  what will happen to me?   the overly-dramatic slippery slope of this news went something like this — no yoga, depression will come back, more meds, no exercise, weight gain, flood of tears streaming down my face (and eyes welling up with tears as i type this).  ugh.  i’m freaked.  i’m worried.   

my ideas at a solution so far:  develop daily meditation practice, commit to daily meditation practice, re-read Skinny Bitch, try not to be so dramatic, start accepting the idea of walking as my new exercise of choice.

One Comment leave one →
  1. reinadecorazon permalink
    April 18, 2008 11:42 am

    talk to your yoga instructors they will help you modify your positions so you don’t have to stop practising. i had to modify a number of poses as my belly grew with little miss addie inside, so don’t freak out too much- yoga instructors will help you!

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